Did you know that the body language of both males and females will change dramatically when in the presence of the opposite sex. For instance, a man will automatically straighten up his body, stand a little taller, and avoiding all those common slumping or slouching postures.
When a man is in the company of a woman he’s interested in, he will try his best to appear more dominant by pulling in his stomach and expanding his chest out.
Let’s say coincidentally the woman he likes here shares the same interest and is taking a fancy to this man, she will also automatically display herself being submissive by gestures like turning and exposing her wrists, tilting her head a bit, and touching her hair.
The interesting thing is the gestures of this man and woman were delivered subconsciously on an automatic response mode. Well, there are of course those intended and coordinated attraction and flirting gestures that were made consciously.
What Type of Attraction Gestures Men Use
Men basically do not have a large inventory of attraction and flirting gestures compared to women. When a man is interested in a woman, he will just focus his gestures to display his masculinity and the macho-man image.
His gestures normally will begin with patting his hair into place, smooth and straighten his clothes, adjust his tie if he is wearing one, and often thrust his chin forward. At the same time, he will extend out his chest, straighten his back, and draw in his stomach as mentioned earlier on.
A man normally will display his masculinity and dominance by tucking his thumbs into his belt, and pointing them at his crotch. This is in fact a very common sight of men using gestures to emphasize on his manhood.
What Type of Attraction Gestures Women Use
On the contrary, when a woman is interested in a guy, she will blast out tons of signs and signals to notify him of her feelings. Unfortunately on the down side here is that many men are totally oblivious to these signs and signals. Making things worse, women sometimes unintentionally send out mixed signals when trying to manipulate the men into displaying their feelings for her. Very often this will end up with the men confused and resulting with them avoiding and not approaching her.
In a room, when a woman finds the man she is attracted to, she will normally gaze at him until she seizes his attention and thus forming the first visual contact. She will then hold on to this eye contact for two to three seconds before looking elsewhere. Subsequently, she will further display other gestures to express her interest in this particular guy.
One of the gestures most commonly used by a woman around a man she is attracted to is the hair flicking gesture. What happens here is that the woman will flick her hair away from a face or over her shoulder in a sensual way. Surprisingly, this gesture is also performed by many women with short hair.
When a woman slowly and suggestively caress her neck or thigh, she is implying to the man that he might be able to touch her in these ways too if he can captivate and mesmerize her to her delight. This is the self stroking gesture which is frequently used by women.
Another gesture to watch out for is the droopy wrist gesture. This gesture is often used for the maximum effect when fondling a cylindrical item. Women like to use this gesture to make a guy feel that he could have full control of her. This droopy wrist gesture is perceived by many men as a submission signal.
A similar seductive gesture used by women to draw in the man will be the neck baring gesture. This is another submissive gesture seen by men in the same way as the droopy wrist gesture. As how it is suggested here, the woman will bare her neck to the man by tilting her head to one side of her shoulder.
Is He/She Already Seeing Someone Else?
When a person sees someone they are interested in, most often the reason that is stopping them from walking over to that person to chat up is the thought that maybe this particular person is not single and already seeing someone else. Hence, bringing forth the notion of maybe that someone else is around there, or might be arriving soon.
Picture this scenario at a bar, a beautiful lady is attracted to this charming and good looking guy within a group of people standing across the room. She then uses the gazing technique to establish eye contact indicating she is interested in him.
The guy seemed to be a bit oblivious to her signals, or maybe he’s just a little bit on the shy side. So the lady decides maybe instead she should go over there and give this shy guy the opportunity to strike up a conversation with her. As she was about to move, a lovely lady joined the group and is now standing next to the charming guy. Apparently this lovely lady seems to be from that same group too, and she appears to be quite close to that guy.
Now the question “Are they a couple?” pops up in this beautiful lady’s mind. She’s contemplating whether should she just stay put where she is, or still proceed to go over there? Most often and most likely, just to play it safe, the decision will be to stay where she is to avoid any awkward or embarrassing situation.
My Own Intimate Zone
Not only it’s natural, but also a proven scientific fact that how much closer two people sit, stand, or lie next to each other, is very much akin to how close and intimate they are emotionally to each other.
Each and every person has got their own intimate zone. The size of this zone may vary a little bit from one person to another person but only at a minimal rate. It begins with the body itself, extending as far as one and a half feet/half a meter from it. To that person, everything within this intimate zone “belongs” to them, or considered as “theirs”.
Parents, siblings, spouses, lovers, children, close relatives and very close friends will normally stand within 18 inches/50 centimeters of each other. Like them, only those who are considered as emotionally close to us may be allowed to break through this space barrier and enter the intimate zone. Any uninvited stranger that enters this zone will be look upon as an act of intimidation and hostility, prompting the person to move away from the intruder immediately.
This is perhaps the main reason why people will stay for years with the same doctor, or dentist, even traveling miles to get there, rather than subject themselves to the stress of allowing a stranger into their intimate zone.
High Touch Properties
Generally people will touch things, or lean against something that they feel is theirs. They do this in many different ways using fingers, arms, feet, and even buttocks. For instance, a person will sometimes lean on the walls with their back and shoulder, or lean on the tables with their buttocks when they are at their own home. However, you will not be able to witness these behaviors if they are in the homes of people they are unfamiliar with.
The same rules apply here with couples holding hands, brushing each other’s arms as they walk, or tidying and adjusting each other’s clothes. One of the most common signals that you will always notice everywhere will be the way women demonstrates ownership to her man by placing her palm flat on his chest. The same kind of display can also be seen here when a man places his hand on the waist or back of his partner.
Beauty, They Say, Is In The Eye of The Beholder
There is a great difference between what is attractive to men and women, which are believed to be originated from our prehistoric ancestors of hunters (male) and food gatherers (female).
Women in general tends to be attracted to men who are powerful, assertive and independent, the qualities which highly suggest the person as a capable provider and a reliable father for their children. On the other hand, what men find attractive in women is usually based more on their visually attractive exterior.
In both cases, as men or women, by emphasizing on these qualities, we would always hope to make ourselves more attractive (beauty or personality) to the opposite sex and have a wider selection of possible mates to chose from.
While interest in others is demonstrated by body language, we should never use it to manipulate others. Truly attractive people are those who see themselves as who they really are, and always believing in themselves.